Zeus is on the lookout for the Great Pumpkin. We got your back, Linus.
Hope I can turn this giant mess into something funny. I’m talking about my life, not the note cards.
Very jealous of my black friends when we talk about Mike Tyson. Saying, “He was knocking ‘dudes’ out left and right”, just doesn’t have the same impact.
St. Louis is good at playoff baseball and shooting unarmed, black, teens. The jury is out on which causes more riots and looting.
Performed at my first open-mic last night. I got there at 8:30, the show started at 9:00. By 11:00 I hadn’t been called. The MC skipped my name so he put me on last.
My first stand-up set and I have to close the show to a dead room.
I ended up getting some good laughs and was very happy. I’ll talk more this weekend on my new podcast www.biggeekshow.com
All the stuff I haven’t blurted out on the internet. Time to start on the next one.
My team is hard at work on a new app that will do for the Apple Watch what FitBit did for walking. We’re calling it the #JackTrack. We are looking for investors so if you have a bunch of cash and a real passion for masturbation, contact me.